Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Anger Management
Lately I've been dealing with some serious anger issues. Through the combination of being diagnosed with a disease that I had to change my whole lifestyle over and recovering from a broken marriage (which is working on being restored) I'm just kinda over it all, and angry about everything. I wake up angry and go to bed angry. I realize that the anger is only truly hurting me in the long run, most of the time my husband doesn't even know I'm mad at him, unless I give him the cold shoulder. I can only be mad at myself if I eat something that makes me sick. (which is almost everything these days) I'm angry at my dad for waiting 30 years to have a relationship with me. I'm angry at my abuser for stealing my innocence and my life. I'm angry at so many things that I have no control over. I hate all the anger I feel, before I even got out of bed this morning I prayed for God to remove all the hate and anger I am feeling, cause like I said I do realize I am only hurting myself..in fact I think it's a huge reason that all my efforts to feel better physically are in vein. I've been trying to find healthy ways to get rid of and control the anger. Mostly prayer, but cleaning, venting to a friend, and exercize are also ways I've been copeing. I am also in therapy once a week. But nonetheless, here I am writing about anger. I know it's can be a healthy emotion, after all God says that it's ok to be angry, just not to sin in anger. I'm still on the fence with that. OH I believe God's word is true, just not sure If I am capeable of not sinning while angry. :) Is it healthy to want to make your husband hurt the way he hurt you when he slept with another woman and said terrible things to you? I know that literally I don't want to hurt him..I just want him to feel what I felt. I want to be able to sit down for dinner at a restaurant and order off the menu (right now, ain't happenin', I have to bring my own bland boring food), I would love to see my abuser pay for his crime, although that will never happen cause statues of limitations have more than run out (and I have no evidence) I just have to trust that God says "vengence is mine, sayeth the Lord" and I know he can do way worse than me! What are some ways YOU cope with anger?
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Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Anger Management
Lately I've been dealing with some serious anger issues. Through the combination of being diagnosed with a disease that I had to change my whole lifestyle over and recovering from a broken marriage (which is working on being restored) I'm just kinda over it all, and angry about everything. I wake up angry and go to bed angry. I realize that the anger is only truly hurting me in the long run, most of the time my husband doesn't even know I'm mad at him, unless I give him the cold shoulder. I can only be mad at myself if I eat something that makes me sick. (which is almost everything these days) I'm angry at my dad for waiting 30 years to have a relationship with me. I'm angry at my abuser for stealing my innocence and my life. I'm angry at so many things that I have no control over. I hate all the anger I feel, before I even got out of bed this morning I prayed for God to remove all the hate and anger I am feeling, cause like I said I do realize I am only hurting myself..in fact I think it's a huge reason that all my efforts to feel better physically are in vein. I've been trying to find healthy ways to get rid of and control the anger. Mostly prayer, but cleaning, venting to a friend, and exercize are also ways I've been copeing. I am also in therapy once a week. But nonetheless, here I am writing about anger. I know it's can be a healthy emotion, after all God says that it's ok to be angry, just not to sin in anger. I'm still on the fence with that. OH I believe God's word is true, just not sure If I am capeable of not sinning while angry. :) Is it healthy to want to make your husband hurt the way he hurt you when he slept with another woman and said terrible things to you? I know that literally I don't want to hurt him..I just want him to feel what I felt. I want to be able to sit down for dinner at a restaurant and order off the menu (right now, ain't happenin', I have to bring my own bland boring food), I would love to see my abuser pay for his crime, although that will never happen cause statues of limitations have more than run out (and I have no evidence) I just have to trust that God says "vengence is mine, sayeth the Lord" and I know he can do way worse than me! What are some ways YOU cope with anger?
2 comments:
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Unknown said...
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Hey that means you are moving forward sweetie.. it is way better then feeling nothing right.. It will come it is there. I saw your message from God yesterday and was like ooooh he is all up in her mail again lol..
Journal, run, scream into a pillow, kick the crap out of a kicking bag at the gym. Visualize the anger just falling off of you as you do those things, just falling away in your sweat and in each breath a part of it escaping .. -
June 1, 2010 at 10:04 AM
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Tracie Nall said...
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Anger is hard! Here is a trick that has helped me....go in your closet (even if it is small!) and close the door. Burry your face in your clothes and SCREAM! Keep screaming.....keep screaming.......at this point you start to feel a little silly.....keep screaming......then the silly-ness takes over and the laughter starts. Embrace that laughter and keep laughing.
It doesn't mean that everything is better. It doesn't change the situations....but it does help relieve the pressure. In a healthy way that doesn't hurt yourself or others.
Praying, journalling, talking it out, getting help. Those are all great decisions you are making. Healthy. You will move past the anger in time! -
June 1, 2010 at 12:13 PM
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2 comments:
Hey that means you are moving forward sweetie.. it is way better then feeling nothing right.. It will come it is there. I saw your message from God yesterday and was like ooooh he is all up in her mail again lol..
Journal, run, scream into a pillow, kick the crap out of a kicking bag at the gym. Visualize the anger just falling off of you as you do those things, just falling away in your sweat and in each breath a part of it escaping ..
Anger is hard! Here is a trick that has helped me....go in your closet (even if it is small!) and close the door. Burry your face in your clothes and SCREAM! Keep screaming.....keep screaming.......at this point you start to feel a little silly.....keep screaming......then the silly-ness takes over and the laughter starts. Embrace that laughter and keep laughing.
It doesn't mean that everything is better. It doesn't change the situations....but it does help relieve the pressure. In a healthy way that doesn't hurt yourself or others.
Praying, journalling, talking it out, getting help. Those are all great decisions you are making. Healthy. You will move past the anger in time!
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