This is my husband David and I celebrating our 12th Anniversary in March of this year. 11 1/2 years longer than anyone gave us to be married. From the start there were conditions to our marriage and a major lack of faith from our "supporters." We did not have the conventional courtship to say the least, in fact, we did everything backwards and wrong according to social standards, and to be frank, Godly standards as well. David and I only dated for a couple months before we married, and I was pregnant when we decided to marry. A lot of people felt as if I was trapping David, or that we were getting married for the wrong reasons. I can see how people would feel that way, after all, me being pregnant did influence our decision, but it was not the ONLY reason. Our marriage started out with many conditions. One of them being conditional love. I don't think we ever sat down and said, "now I'm only gonna love you if you do the laundry and take out the trash", no it wasn't that black and white, we just fell into a routine and life so fast, that we never took the time to focus on what Love truly was and how it needed to be the biggest role in the survival of our marriage. Fast forward 12 HARD years, and here we are, JUST learning about unconditional love for one another. It's a lot harder than I ever thought it would/should be. Love is a CHOICE, not just and emotion. sure, when he is on his A-game and doing all things right and great, it's easy to love him without making a choice to do so, it comes naturally. HOWEVER, there are those moments when we BOTH fall short of our A-game and mess up horribly and those are the days this LOVE thing does not come so naturally and we have to CHOOSE to continue to love each other with a pure, forgiving, and loving heart. I am currently doing the "LOVE DARE" on my husband. I am only on day 3, but I am amazed at what I am learning and what God is showing me about true, unconditional love. It's really putting me on my duff! It's been very hard to look in the mirror at how much I have lacked in loving, forgiveness, and selflessness. I am VERY selfish, I didn't realize till now, cause it's not like it was an outward, obvious trait, in fact, I am told often at how unselfish I am and how I should think of myself more, which, ironically is the most selfish act of all. I am so glad I am taking the Journey with Courtney@Women Living Well, learning how to be the wife my husband needs. I pray that through the journey of being the wife he needs, he will become the husband I need as well, and that we will BOTH discover that unconditional love is a choice that we both choose to make, and eventually it will become as natural and beautiful as God's perfect love for us.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Unconditonal Love is a CHOICE! (long post)
This is my husband David and I celebrating our 12th Anniversary in March of this year. 11 1/2 years longer than anyone gave us to be married. From the start there were conditions to our marriage and a major lack of faith from our "supporters." We did not have the conventional courtship to say the least, in fact, we did everything backwards and wrong according to social standards, and to be frank, Godly standards as well. David and I only dated for a couple months before we married, and I was pregnant when we decided to marry. A lot of people felt as if I was trapping David, or that we were getting married for the wrong reasons. I can see how people would feel that way, after all, me being pregnant did influence our decision, but it was not the ONLY reason. Our marriage started out with many conditions. One of them being conditional love. I don't think we ever sat down and said, "now I'm only gonna love you if you do the laundry and take out the trash", no it wasn't that black and white, we just fell into a routine and life so fast, that we never took the time to focus on what Love truly was and how it needed to be the biggest role in the survival of our marriage. Fast forward 12 HARD years, and here we are, JUST learning about unconditional love for one another. It's a lot harder than I ever thought it would/should be. Love is a CHOICE, not just and emotion. sure, when he is on his A-game and doing all things right and great, it's easy to love him without making a choice to do so, it comes naturally. HOWEVER, there are those moments when we BOTH fall short of our A-game and mess up horribly and those are the days this LOVE thing does not come so naturally and we have to CHOOSE to continue to love each other with a pure, forgiving, and loving heart. I am currently doing the "LOVE DARE" on my husband. I am only on day 3, but I am amazed at what I am learning and what God is showing me about true, unconditional love. It's really putting me on my duff! It's been very hard to look in the mirror at how much I have lacked in loving, forgiveness, and selflessness. I am VERY selfish, I didn't realize till now, cause it's not like it was an outward, obvious trait, in fact, I am told often at how unselfish I am and how I should think of myself more, which, ironically is the most selfish act of all. I am so glad I am taking the Journey with Courtney@Women Living Well, learning how to be the wife my husband needs. I pray that through the journey of being the wife he needs, he will become the husband I need as well, and that we will BOTH discover that unconditional love is a choice that we both choose to make, and eventually it will become as natural and beautiful as God's perfect love for us.
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Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Unconditonal Love is a CHOICE! (long post)
This is my husband David and I celebrating our 12th Anniversary in March of this year. 11 1/2 years longer than anyone gave us to be married. From the start there were conditions to our marriage and a major lack of faith from our "supporters." We did not have the conventional courtship to say the least, in fact, we did everything backwards and wrong according to social standards, and to be frank, Godly standards as well. David and I only dated for a couple months before we married, and I was pregnant when we decided to marry. A lot of people felt as if I was trapping David, or that we were getting married for the wrong reasons. I can see how people would feel that way, after all, me being pregnant did influence our decision, but it was not the ONLY reason. Our marriage started out with many conditions. One of them being conditional love. I don't think we ever sat down and said, "now I'm only gonna love you if you do the laundry and take out the trash", no it wasn't that black and white, we just fell into a routine and life so fast, that we never took the time to focus on what Love truly was and how it needed to be the biggest role in the survival of our marriage. Fast forward 12 HARD years, and here we are, JUST learning about unconditional love for one another. It's a lot harder than I ever thought it would/should be. Love is a CHOICE, not just and emotion. sure, when he is on his A-game and doing all things right and great, it's easy to love him without making a choice to do so, it comes naturally. HOWEVER, there are those moments when we BOTH fall short of our A-game and mess up horribly and those are the days this LOVE thing does not come so naturally and we have to CHOOSE to continue to love each other with a pure, forgiving, and loving heart. I am currently doing the "LOVE DARE" on my husband. I am only on day 3, but I am amazed at what I am learning and what God is showing me about true, unconditional love. It's really putting me on my duff! It's been very hard to look in the mirror at how much I have lacked in loving, forgiveness, and selflessness. I am VERY selfish, I didn't realize till now, cause it's not like it was an outward, obvious trait, in fact, I am told often at how unselfish I am and how I should think of myself more, which, ironically is the most selfish act of all. I am so glad I am taking the Journey with Courtney@Women Living Well, learning how to be the wife my husband needs. I pray that through the journey of being the wife he needs, he will become the husband I need as well, and that we will BOTH discover that unconditional love is a choice that we both choose to make, and eventually it will become as natural and beautiful as God's perfect love for us.
1 comment:
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Unknown said...
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If unconditional love were easy, everyone would not have needed the sacrifice of Jesus. IT is never easy, and I don't think you are truly selfish in that manner.. I think you lacked that stuff in your childhood and therefore search for them now. the child in you still looking for her identity.
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June 8, 2010 at 11:51 PM
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1 comment:
If unconditional love were easy, everyone would not have needed the sacrifice of Jesus. IT is never easy, and I don't think you are truly selfish in that manner.. I think you lacked that stuff in your childhood and therefore search for them now. the child in you still looking for her identity.
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