Something I have to forgive myself for:
My PAST..I know, most of us would probably say this. Some of us may embrace it, I hear a lot of people say "I don't regret anything from my past cause it made me who I am." I used to be one of those people. Some things from our past do shape who we are today, but there are a lot of things that I am not proud of, and do truly regret. I wish I had been taught more about self-respect and living with the choices I make. Sure my mom and others talked to me some about those things, but when I tested the waters so to speak, I was left to my own doing, and that is where the regrets piled up. I regret not being a virgin when I married my husband, I now know why it is so important to save that gift for your spouse. I recently heard a wise young man (son of a popular christian woman/author) say as he was speaking about sex on a youtube video he said "No wonder we have issues with staying together when we are married and have trouble giving themselves to just one person" basically I gave myself away one piece at a time for so long, that by the time I married my husband, there was nothing left of me to give. IT IS SOOO TRUE! and not just in the sex realm, I feel incomplete in so many ways from giving myself to others, in many ways. compromising my morals, and so on. I regret no making better choices for myself, such as staying in school (college) even, high school. I graduated w/ my GED, but sadly as lot of companies don't recognize a GED as an actual diploma. I am (was) trying to get back into college, but my past is now coming back to haunt me in trying to get re-enrolled. I know that I have been forgiven for my mistakes and poor choices, however it does not mean that I don't regret them and am now still paying for them to some degree. I tend to re-hash my past quite a bit, I have a difficult time moving on, and it has left me in a tough place as I am terrified of making decision now because I don't really trust myself, and that is a very sad, scary place to be. So, My PAST is what I need to forgive myself for and I pray that day will come..for the sake of myself and my children. I don't want to pass down this legacy.
here is the video I mentioned. It pertains to sex before marriage, but is good, and heartfelt:
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Tuesday, August 17, 2010
30 Days of Truth- Day 3
Something I have to forgive myself for:
My PAST..I know, most of us would probably say this. Some of us may embrace it, I hear a lot of people say "I don't regret anything from my past cause it made me who I am." I used to be one of those people. Some things from our past do shape who we are today, but there are a lot of things that I am not proud of, and do truly regret. I wish I had been taught more about self-respect and living with the choices I make. Sure my mom and others talked to me some about those things, but when I tested the waters so to speak, I was left to my own doing, and that is where the regrets piled up. I regret not being a virgin when I married my husband, I now know why it is so important to save that gift for your spouse. I recently heard a wise young man (son of a popular christian woman/author) say as he was speaking about sex on a youtube video he said "No wonder we have issues with staying together when we are married and have trouble giving themselves to just one person" basically I gave myself away one piece at a time for so long, that by the time I married my husband, there was nothing left of me to give. IT IS SOOO TRUE! and not just in the sex realm, I feel incomplete in so many ways from giving myself to others, in many ways. compromising my morals, and so on. I regret no making better choices for myself, such as staying in school (college) even, high school. I graduated w/ my GED, but sadly as lot of companies don't recognize a GED as an actual diploma. I am (was) trying to get back into college, but my past is now coming back to haunt me in trying to get re-enrolled. I know that I have been forgiven for my mistakes and poor choices, however it does not mean that I don't regret them and am now still paying for them to some degree. I tend to re-hash my past quite a bit, I have a difficult time moving on, and it has left me in a tough place as I am terrified of making decision now because I don't really trust myself, and that is a very sad, scary place to be. So, My PAST is what I need to forgive myself for and I pray that day will come..for the sake of myself and my children. I don't want to pass down this legacy.
here is the video I mentioned. It pertains to sex before marriage, but is good, and heartfelt:
My PAST..I know, most of us would probably say this. Some of us may embrace it, I hear a lot of people say "I don't regret anything from my past cause it made me who I am." I used to be one of those people. Some things from our past do shape who we are today, but there are a lot of things that I am not proud of, and do truly regret. I wish I had been taught more about self-respect and living with the choices I make. Sure my mom and others talked to me some about those things, but when I tested the waters so to speak, I was left to my own doing, and that is where the regrets piled up. I regret not being a virgin when I married my husband, I now know why it is so important to save that gift for your spouse. I recently heard a wise young man (son of a popular christian woman/author) say as he was speaking about sex on a youtube video he said "No wonder we have issues with staying together when we are married and have trouble giving themselves to just one person" basically I gave myself away one piece at a time for so long, that by the time I married my husband, there was nothing left of me to give. IT IS SOOO TRUE! and not just in the sex realm, I feel incomplete in so many ways from giving myself to others, in many ways. compromising my morals, and so on. I regret no making better choices for myself, such as staying in school (college) even, high school. I graduated w/ my GED, but sadly as lot of companies don't recognize a GED as an actual diploma. I am (was) trying to get back into college, but my past is now coming back to haunt me in trying to get re-enrolled. I know that I have been forgiven for my mistakes and poor choices, however it does not mean that I don't regret them and am now still paying for them to some degree. I tend to re-hash my past quite a bit, I have a difficult time moving on, and it has left me in a tough place as I am terrified of making decision now because I don't really trust myself, and that is a very sad, scary place to be. So, My PAST is what I need to forgive myself for and I pray that day will come..for the sake of myself and my children. I don't want to pass down this legacy.
here is the video I mentioned. It pertains to sex before marriage, but is good, and heartfelt:
1 comment:
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Unknown said...
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Sweetie we all made mistakes. The only danger is when we hold on to them and let them control us..
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August 17, 2010 at 4:02 PM
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1 comment:
Sweetie we all made mistakes. The only danger is when we hold on to them and let them control us..
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